$150.00
The F.I.N.C.H. (Fully Integrated Nuclear Cat Harasser) is the latest in cutting edge backyard avian military hardware. Designed to provide a comfortable, mobile home-away-from-home, but also providing the latest in laser guided missile systems and heavy railguns, the F.I.N.C.H. is there for you in any pinch. Raise your young free from the pressures of worry - this bristling treaded nightmare fares well against most predatory mammals up to and including humans. The side-firing weapons utilize sensor, navigation and fire control systems to provide surgical firepower or area saturation - even at night! Light up the yard with tracers and hollowpoints and keep your family safe from feline terrorists.
The missus will enjoy sitting on eggs within the luxurious pleather nest on the spacious lower level, while you sit in air-cooled comfort above using night vision targeting and catnip-tipped daisy cutters to send cats back to wherever it is cats come from. Why should birds miss out on the fun of motorhoming? Sure, when you can fly, the world's your oyster - but what about the times when nature demands procreation? Why settle down in some stationary hole in a gourd? Get out there!
Ask for the biological and chemical package - free with any F.I.N.C.H. purchased between now and August 31. Hybrid models also available.
The F.I.N.C.H. measures 8 inches wide, 13 inches long and stands 12.5 inches high.